How the Iceland Trek Changed My Life.

I built some truly amazing relationships in Iceland, each person unique because each of them while supporting me through the hardest adventure of my life, also taught me how to deal with elements of how my condition I had never realised affected me previously.

I don’t think any of us were prepared for this to happen and we’ve never sat down and discussed the effects we’ve had on one another, so if any of the Icelandic Brainy Bunch are reading this I’m sorry you weren’t told all of how you each impacted me personally.

Being around a group of such amazing people who had been devastated by this disease through the loss of a loved one taught me the pain and fear had been and were still feeling through every surgery, treatment, episode and panicked ambulance ride to hospital. They taught me that I wasn’t the only person affected by my tumour as much as I’d love to believe it was only me who cried at night over the diagnosis, meeting these people made me realise that for every person diagnosed there is a circle of people around them who is affected.

Finally, I could understand why my sister ‘almost’ sacrificed her A-Level grades by scribbling her psychology essays up against the dashboard on her daily round trip to the hospital in Cambridge after school to see me following my brain surgery, just to check I was still doing okay, even though she couldn’t sacrifice those 4-6 hours a night because she desperately needed to revise. These people were the people who opened my eyes to the reasons my mother would break down upon leaving the hospital when me ‘her daughter’ who was unrecognisable from the vast aggressive swelling from 11 hours of brain surgery begged her not to leave the hospital because she didn’t know when she’d come back… (I couldn’t remember a thing).

While as a group they taught me the ripples of pain that brain tumours inflicted on all of my loved ones, each member of this group left a lasting impression on me and some people in particular taught me some life lessons and opened my eyes to aspects of myself that I’ll never forget. Here are the incredible things I learnt from 5 days with the Icelandic Brainy Bunch…

Firstly, my tumour twin Dougie. Dougie taught me that with strength and courage, we can overcome these diabolical tumours and go on to do everything you need to in life! However, it seems that if you add a pinch of cheekiness and positivity that you can climb to the top of a mountain. Dougie also taught me that happiness is truly infectious, every day he would wake up with his positive and happy energy that would spread across camp, and when I left Iceland I promised myself I would do the same. Honestly, I have failed in my mission to be constantly happy in the hurdles I have faced, but my one-year Iceland anniversary resolution is going to be trying to spread some of that ‘Dougie positivity’ around me again!

This brings me to Laura who taught me the value of true friendship. Her connection to the charity and reason for trekking Iceland showed me restored some faith in the loyalty of true friendship after I had lost a lot of what I had believed were ‘genuine’ friendships following my diagnosis. Now I have the beauty of the genuine loyalty of Laura’s friendship in my life also, however I won’t ever be truly happy until I can have her as my own personal radiographer…

Misch taught me that you must grab the moment while you can, because you never know when there is going to be another one, and that I should never settle, and too love myself as well as others. She taught me to see everywhere in the world I want too. Misch really showed me about internal happiness as well as happiness externally.

Meeting Lynne affected some personal relationships I had, which I believe she has no idea about. Since my brain tumour diagnosis, I have honestly struggled to cope with the fact ‘no one felt the exact same way I did’ and didn’t process and react news how I did. I was always so pessimistic about news but my mother and sister always looked for the silver linings. This brings me to what Lynne taught me. The life lesson that Lynne taught me was about the unconditional and invaluable love of a mother, and to respect and understand the emotions of my own mother’s feelings and grief process in her journey through my illness as I am not the only person on a journey through this.

This wasn’t the only lesson Lynne taught me however, in combination with her best friend Lindsey, they both reminded me that no matter what life throws at you, a little bit of a pamper can make you feel worlds better. No you’ll never catch me without a lipstick by my side as “A simple bit of lipstick, even at the top of a mountain will make your troubles fade away little one.”

Lloyd taught me that true love still exists all over the world and that when I find it, (which I believe I now have) to grab hold of it. He is one of life’s rare souls which bares genuine determination, true love and good spirit. Lloyd was such a great example to me that if I truly worked hard for something that I could achieve it, at a time I was so anxious that I would never be able to complete my degree while working and then find a lifelong career I loved.

Ron taught me that keeping positive and injecting a bit of upbeat music will allow to me to beat even my hardest days and it may seem such a small thing to have taken from Iceland but this has affected my scan days substantially. Every brain scan now I listen to music which helps ease my anxiety and makes the whole process much easier for me as a patient.

Liz taught me that even when you’re falling behind someone will be there, even when they could easily go ahead with the rest of the group, just because they want to see you succeed and that no matter how insignificant you feel, or how much you feel like you are failing, that you will always matter to someone.

Polly and Phil taught me about support for each other as a couple through hard times, they came on the trek together. Polly was a ray of sunshine and she herself showed me such support and still does now with constant support for my blogging and charity work but as a pair they both worked together to ensure they were supporting each other and also working together to support the bigger team. They really showed me that teamwork in action, in the wilderness is effective, more so than in a manufactured environment which has changed my perspective on ‘teamwork’ as a whole.

Abi taught me that passion in the workplace is essential. She trekked for 5 days, as part of her job. She showed true dedication and was the happiest and most positive person I’ve ever met doing so. She was one of two people on this trek who made me realise that if I achieve anything in my lifetime it would be to work in a job that I don’t look at the clock desperately waiting to go home from because there’s a job out there for everyone.

Kate was an incredible individual in Iceland who influenced me massively, but the lesson I was taught was on the first evening by Kate when we were all discussing our stories in the food tent. Kate was the first person in the tent to notice I was getting slightly upset by the topics of losing someone (I’d only just lost a close friend and it was sinking in at this moment) and it was Kate who made me realise it was okay to take time for myself to come to terms with these things. On top of this, further conversations with Kate made me realise it’s important to make a career out of doing what you love and not just working to pay bills.

Finally, my beautiful roommate Beth. Beth has taught me a million lessons, first of all that it is possible to sleep in what feels like the same bed as a stranger and feel comfortable. She taught me it is possible to laugh so much your stomach muscles hurt while you walk. She taught me that even when you live 3 hours’ drive away from someone they can still be a good friend who supports your charity work and lifestyle.

Most of all, every single one of these people taught me that despite the fact that I’ll be living the rest of my live with an incurable brain tumour attacking my temporal lobe and regular focal seizures I cannot let it ruin my life. That I should embrace my life and live it too the full, I should live every second of it as much as I can, enjoy the loving relationship I have, my beautiful family and the job that I enjoy because I am very lucky to be here and if my doctors fought to give me a second chance, I’m going to fight to have the best life I possibly can.

                                             What this space… And expect big things.

Thank you to every single person on the Iceland Trek including the guides and Bekky the doctor for your incredible support on my life changing trip.